Teh Wozzinator

oops, i don't know what happened here...i accidently hit submit, and then stop, i think oh, and on my next post, i forgot to put parentheses around my bold parts....i'll ...

chapter one: wow, that was really confusing and fast...you need to slow down the plot a LOT. it's like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. give us some background info on ...

the reason i capitalized actually is because of this: since he's writing in a journal, he isn't actually italicizing all of that stuff. and it's really hard to italicize in ...

for your first edit...i did put rotten at first, but i thought that that sounded way too clichei. and yes, i agree with you about the spaces between dashes--thanks for ...

btw, i used LOL because that's what the guy thought. normally i wouldn't use it. and i have a reason for describing the phone like that... i'm doing this thing ...

just one comment on the first paragraph...i have rewritten the entire paragraph, so that it's more descriptive and less run-on-ish. i also rewrote some of the other stuff. what i ...

that's what i meant by "It wasn't an addiction", read on and you'll see why he bought the chocolate

well, again, again, again, again, i agree with Jabber on all the grammar. ;-P i really like the plot, how she's trying to be a good guy, but she keeps ...

I really liked it, but the grammar's already been taken care of (yes!) for me, so I'll just comment. I think that it's a good start to a story, it ...

actually, i haven't really read much poetry, but yes, i have read more classical...

sorry, i don't have time to post edits right now (i'll do it later), but i'd just like to say i though it was really good!

oh, and one thing i didn't say...i liked how all of your section were different lengths, that was really original, and good

thanks! i'm glad you liked it. what i was saying in stanza one was this: well, if you were paid, would you talk more or less? c'mon, it's an easy ...

this was my favorite part! i really liked the horror part...but what three words were they repeating? btw, again, you got the calling part, i think that that's the thing ...

haha, i liked it, but as i said before, no time for a long chat--and you just read my single crit in the chat.